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Hunger Games Theme Park Questions

12 May

A Hunger Games theme park? Right here in the US? Can it be?! There’s a rumor that’s been floating around for about a year that Lionsgate is going to license The Hunger Games for a theme park in Atlanta.

I don’t know what their timeline is, or if this is even going to happen. But a friend and I were talking about the prospect, and we have some questions for their PR team.

1. Will I need to bring my own bow, or will one be provided for me?

2. If I need to bring my own bow, can I have it drop shipped from Amazon and held for me at the park? I don’t think American Air will let me bring it with me.

3. Will I be randomly paired with someone from my hometown, or will I be paired with someone I came with?

4. Can I drum up support from potential sponsors on social media before I arrive?

5. Do my parents count as sponsors?

6. Can I give someone my credit card and have them use it to send me sponsor gifts while I’m at the park?

7. Can I bring my own knife? Is there a limit on the length of the blade?

8. What is your firearm policy?

9. Is there a guarantee that I won’t face a civil suit for damages inflicted on other participants?

10. Will my outfit be provided, or do I need to provide my own?

11. Is there a training period before entering the park?

12. If I’m doing well, will my reservation automatically be extended? If not, is there a concierge in the park I can speak to?

13. Who are the judges, and what is their selection process?

14. Is there WiFi in the park?

15. Can I select the designer for my Victory Tour wardrobe? I’m partial to Badgley Mischka and Marchesa.

I trust that someone will respond to these quickly so I can begin preparing for my trip and carefully selecting the friends I’d like to invite to come with me.

A Tale of Two iPhones

23 Dec

Sit right down and let me tell you a happy holiday story of setting up my new iPhone. You see, I have Virgin Mobile, which I really love. I have unlimited talk, text, and data with no contract for $45/month and a $5 autopay discount, so my total bill every month is $40. You really can’t beat that.

The only catch is that you have to buy your phone through them. It’s not a big deal because I’m not obsessed with having the latest phone. I just buy a new one when mine starts crapping out, which is usually every two years. Around October my current iPhone 5 started to go, so I waited a few weeks and ordered a gold iPhone 6s. And then it sat in the box on my dining room table for a few more weeks before I got around to setting it up.

I’ve done this before, set up a new iPhone on my Virgin Mobile plan. It’s VERY EASY. All you have to do is log in to your account, enter a few ID numbers from the box, and then follow the instructions on your phone to get it all set up.

Here’s what I did instead.

First I hooked up my current phone to iTunes to do a backup. But I didn’t scroll down enough to see that I had checked the box to encrypt the backup and I have absolutely no clue what the password to that encryption might be.

Then I started to set up the new phone, and since I couldn’t access my backup, I chose to set it up as a new phone and connected it to my Apple ID.

Then I went to Virgin Mobile and entered the ID numbers. And it said they were already in use. Because I had connected it to my Apple ID.

So I logged into iCloud and removed the device.

Only I removed the wrong iPhone, so I ended up totally wiping my current phone.

But it was still showing as being in use.

So I logged into my Apple ID to manage devices. But to do that it asked for a bunch of security questions that I don’t remember setting. And to recover them I had to call a number. But I couldn’t do that because I had wiped my current phone.

Instead of accepting that, I got my Irish up and tried a bunch of different random answers.

And then Apple locked me out of my Apple ID, leaving me with no choice but to wait until morning when I could bring everything to the office and use my phone there to try to fix this.

I mean, I had messed this up in a truly impressive fashion.

Once I got to the office, I spent five minutes on the phone with Clint from Apple Support, who wham bam voila got me back into my account.

Then I was able to remove the new iPhone.

I went back to Virgin Mobile and put in the ID number, which it said was in use.

I was ready to throw everything out the window and become Amish when I remembered that my hair care routine counts that out.

So I contacted Virgin Mobile support, and they said the iPhone 6s was already activated on my account. Huh? Sure enough, when I went back it showed my current device as an iPhone 6s.

All I had to do was follow the prompts on the screen and I was back in business!

Except, since I had wiped the old phone and locked myself out of the backup, I had to download all my apps again. I’m still trying to remember how I had all of my settings and notifications set up.

At least I remember one of the autocorrect rules I had set up. 😉

And that, my dear friends, is how NOT to set up a new iPhone on Virgin Mobile.

A “Real” Gift Guide

19 Nov

I’m assuming everyone has seen the crazy gift guides that start to pop up at this time every year. A $40,000 chess set? A Himalayan sea salt grater? Listen, if these are the people you’re shopping for, just assume they have literally everything and make a charitable donation in their name. But if you’re shopping for real people, I have some ideas.


Glade Winter Collection

$2.99 – $4.89 at Target
Because everyone wants that fresh-cut-tree scent without the mess of tree sap all over the living room.


Home Goods Gift Card

Any amount
It’s a nice way of saying “your house is such a hot mess I don’t even know where to begin and I know you’re cheap, so here.”


Chapstick

$2.97 for a 3-pack at Target
Listen, it’s winter and it’s dry out there and you need an old standby. Something that will reliably moisturize your lips without gunk or glitter.


Hair Ties

I don’t know how much these cost, just grab some at Target
Because these disappear into the ether on the reg.


Clorox Wipes

$2.49 wherever you buy groceries
No matter who you buy these for, they’re guaranteed to say, “Oh, I needed this!”

So go forth to shop with confidence! And you’re welcome.

Adult Supervision Required

4 Nov

I’ve owned my condo for two months now, and haven’t burned it down yet, which will seem like a miracle by the time I’m done telling you about my kitchen exploits this week.

You see, I’m doing a second round of 21 Day Fix (more on that later) and I decided that this time I would plan all of my meals in advance to avoid being starving and eating whatever was in sight. I was going to prepare. I had a color coded spreadsheet, and did my big shopping haul on Saturday.

Sunday I was ready. I was feeling like a domestic goddess – there were vegetables roasting in the oven, rice cooking on the back burner, and ground turkey cooking on the front burner. I washed zucchini and was preparing to make zoodles for the first time, using my brand new mandolin slicer.

I got halfway through the first zucchini when it happened. I sliced my finger. Right open. Blood everywhere. I’ll spare you the details, but I went from domestic goddess to crying child in about half a second. I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding, nor could I force myself to examine it too closely, so I did what any reasonable woman would do. I called my mother.

After a lecture about using the safety guard on my mandolin, she told me to call my aunt, who is a nurse and generally much better about these things. So I called my aunt, who assured me that I didn’t need stitches and told me how to clean and bandage the injured finger.

Even after that trauma, I still finished preparing all of my lunches for the week. I was going to work on my dinners, but I had forgotten to thaw the chicken, so there goes that.

Now let’s flash to last night, when I was back in the kitchen. This time I was stirring something in a hot pan, and I reached out to steady the pan. With my bare hand. Because I am a college educated adult.

So the house is still standing, and I’ve been fed well (and healthily!) all week. Miracles do happen. But I think I’ll stick to salads for the rest of the week.

Get Fit in 2015

5 Jan

Well kids, it’s that time again. Workout gear is on sale, gym memberships are discounted, and your friends who have spent all year posting pictures of cake are suddenly haughtily explaining that kale really is delicious.

If you need me, I’ll be on the couch.

But lest you think I’m just letting my muscles atrophy while my ass widens to fill the cushions, I’ll have you know that I’ll be doing a couch workout.

Surely you’ve seen them on Pinterest – helpful diagrams showing you how to tone your triceps and blast your belly while you watch your favorite shows. I hate being left out of a good bandwagon, so I’m jumping on with my own version of the couch workout.

The Blanket Bicycle Kick

Start by laying on the couch with your head and shoulders propped up against the arm. Drape a cozy blanket over the lower half of your body. Wait until your feet get hot, then bicycle kick the blanket away.

Muscles Targeted: Core, thighs, butt

Bonus Move: Wait until you get cold again and use a reverse bicycle kick to bring the blanket back over your body without sitting up.

The Noise Jump

Resume your position laying on the couch, you can even doze off if you’d like. Wait until you hear a crash/shout/other loud noise coming from the kids/dog/cat/husband out of your line of sight. Jump up as quickly as possible in an attempt to minimize damage.

Muscles Targeted: Core

Bonus Move: Bring the offending child or pet back to the couch with you and attempt to hold on to their wriggling form so you can watch your show without wondering what they’re destroying.

Popcorn Presses

Lay down on the couch. Why did you move? Did I tell you to move? Assume I always want you laying on the couch. You can get a pillow if you’d like. Now balance a bowl of popcorn on your stomach. Alternate using your left and right arms to bring hand-fulls of crunchy corny goodness to your mouth.

Muscles Targeted: The ones in your arms, biceps, triceps, quadceps

Bonus Move: Skip the butter and go for air popped.

There now, don’t you feel healthier already? I mean look at you! You’re practically a triathlete now!