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Monday Must-Haves

7 Mar

I wanted to do a quick roundup of a few things I’m currently obsessed with. Because I know you’re all dying to know what kind of cookies I’ve been eating.

Milano Melts

So let’s just jump right in to the cookies, eh? I don’t know what made me pick these up when I was in Target over the weekend, but I’m glad I did. I’m not a huge Milano fan, and I can’t remember the last time I kept cookies in the house, but these are out of this world amazing. Seriously. The cookie is light and crispy, there’s just a touch of dark chocolate, and then the perfect amount of Boston creme. Boston Creme Milanos. Get some and thank me later.

Kindle Unlimited

It’s like Netflix for books! Right now you can get a free trial of Kindle Unlimited, but make sure you cancel before the month is up or you’ll be charged the regular $9.99 monthly fee. They have a TON of books – over a million – so it’s like having the library at home. Yay books!

Everybody Loves Raymond

I had forgotten how funny this show really was. I have the full series on DVD and I’ve been watching them in the living room because I don’t have that TV hooked up to cable (long story). I usually like to watch Hoarders while I clean up and putz around the house, you know, for motivation, but I must say that Everybody Loves Raymond is much funnier.

Joy Mangano’s Pillow

I am not exaggerating when I say that this Memory Cloud Reader Pillow is the best and most comfortable thing I have ever put my head on. (And that includes some pretty hunky shoulders, ba dum cha.) The seam in the middle of the pillow makes it perfect for propping up in bed to read or watch TV and makes it adjustable depending on how much you want to sit up or slouch down. Teddy has clearly claimed this one, because everything nice is for Bear, so it’s a good thing I bought two. ­čśë My next purchase will be the Joy Mangano bed pillows. I swear, that woman is a saint.

Golden Globes 2016 – Best and Worst Dressed

10 Jan

Alright, I want to preface this by saying that I’m not feeling well and I’m cranky. I’m also just not really into the Globes this year, for whatever reason. But I did absolutely love hearing Jamie Foxx talk about his daughter, who was Miss Golden Globe this year. He’s so proud of her, and it was so sweet.

Before we dive into the dresses, a quick note. You’ll notice I didn’t include any of the gold dresses that everyone on Twitter was going nuts for. Because guys, I’m over them. They’re boring. We see the same freaking dress every year – this year we saw it twice on one red carpet! It’s a vaguely modified sheath dress! In metallics! WITH SPARKLES!! Guys, it’s been done. It’s been so done that even I’ve worn one of these dresses. See?

Badgley Mischka, 2014. THIS IS NOT NEW. So I’m not putting any of them on my Best Dressed list. (And do you like how I managed to work in not one but THREE photos of me? Because hi, narcissism.)

Best Dressed

Eva Longoria

I don’t know why it was so hard to find a good picture of Eva, but I adored her dress. Yes, it’s more spring/summer than winter, but who cares? It’s LA, we don’t do seasons. The fit is perfect, it’s got just the right amount of detailing, and I love that it’s ladylike and sexy.

Melissa Benoist

This is another summery dress that I’m loving. I like the delicate pattern that isn’t overwhelming, and I enjoyed the structured draping that’s happening here.

Jane Fonda

Listen, I love this so much. Look at the ruffled cape! How old do I have to be before I can wear this? Seriously asking, as I would like to rock this next week. I adore Jane because she’s so funny, and also so elegant.

Lady Gaga

It’s custom Versace, but it’s got a vintage look and feel that I’m loving. I love it when Gaga channels Old Hollywood, because no one does it better than her.

Jennifer Lawrence

Hi, have we met? I will always go JLaw. I love this look on her, and the hair/makeup/jewelry is all working, but can we talk about her abs? Excuse me while I put down this sandwich and go do a few million crunches.

Worst Dressed

I know, I know, this is the fun part. ­čśë

Cate Blanchett

It’s a shame that Cate and her stylist forgot about the Globes until 2pm this afternoon when her stylist had to rush out to Joann’s and buy a bunch of trim and whatever else she could find to haphazardly sew together in time for the show.

Amanda Peet

I have no idea what’s going on here, and I don’t want to know.

Melissa McCarthy

This is from Melissa’s new “Trash Bag Couture” line.

Kate Hudson

Kate, honey, the time machine did not work, and it’s not 1998.

Rooney Mara

You know what, I have to give her props for fighting a bobcat and still making it to the show on time. That’s what we call professionalism.

The Race That Eats Its Young

16 Dec

Every year, 40 international runners descend upon a small town in Tennessee to test their mental and physical limits against the Barkley Marathons. The race has seen only 10 finishers in its first 25 years. With a secret application process, unknown start time, and treacherous terrain, The Barkley has gained cult-like status with ultra-runners and amateurs alike.

This year (2012, the year of filming) in addition to the $1.60 application fee – nonrefundable – new participants must bring a license plate from their home country or state, and returning participants must bring a flannel shirt. Because co-founder Lazarus Lake needs flannel shirts.

Here’s how it works:

Runners have to apply in a secret process for a chance to participate. The course itself changes every year, but follows a basic pattern. It’s a looped course that begins and ends at a yellow gate. Each loop is 20 miles. 3 loops is considered a “fun run” by people who are using the word “fun” incorrectly. It takes 5 loops – 100 miles – to finish the race. This is not your average trail race, mostly because 2/3 of it isn’t even on a trail.

You are allowed to stop at camp between loops to bandage yourself, change socks, replenish supplies, etc, but the clock doesn’t stop ticking. It’s also worth noting that the clock doesn’t stop at night either, so you’ll end up doing part of this course in the pitch black of night.

These aren’t your typical runners – we’ve got physicists and a scientist who works in Antarctica. Which is good, because instead of a neatly marked course, you’re allowed to look at a master course map and then mark the course on your own map. If people like me ran this race, you all would have heard of it because “dumb woman dies in woods doing crazy marathon” makes for a great news story.

Every year there is one so-called “human sacrifice” – a runner who in way over their head and doesn’t stand a chance. This year’s sacrifice made it 6 hours and 52% through loop one before running out of water and calling it quits. I’d like to think that even I would go into this with enough water to last more than 6 hours. Plus, he didn’t even look sweaty and beaten up. Dude, you’re a military man!

Oh no, I can feel my competitive nature building up as I watch this thing. Now I’m sitting here chiding a United States veteran because I would be too stubborn to come out of the woods until I was beaten and bloodied.

In homage to the inspiration for this race – the escape of James Earl Ray (assassinated Martin Luther King, Jr) from a nearby prison in 1977 – part of the race involves walking in a tunnel under the prison he escaped from. I’m assuming they’ve cleared this with the prison.

But Lazarus wants to be clear that this race isn’t a tribute to Ray. It’s quite the opposite. You see, Ray was recaptured after traveling 8 miles in 54 hours, and Lazarus was certain that he could traverse 100 miles in the region in that amount of time. So really, the whole thing is mocking Ray and his failed race to freedom.

I think what’s really amazing here is how everyone pulls together as this weird little community, and the message about success and failure that comes through. And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make some small part of me want to try it.

Learn more about the race that eats its young, and rent or buy the movie. What do you think? Are you down?

Emmys 2015 – Best and Worst Dressed

20 Sep

It’s that time again! I love Emmy night, but I especially love the red carpet. And I love that Emmy night means new TV is here! But let’s get down to what really matters tonight, not the awards, not the honors, but the dresses. I want to preface my choices by saying that is is roughly ten million degrees in LA so some looks, while lovely, just made me think “oh she must be so sweaty”. So the weather definitely colored my choices. Because so hot. So. Hot. But you didn’t come here to listen to me complain about the weather, so let’s get to it.

Best Dressed

The Women of Modern Family

I had to group these women together because they all look so amazing. And yes, I left out Sofia Vergara. Because let’s be real, she’s been wearing the same dress for five years. Yes, she looks phenomenal. She always does. But let’s mix it up a bit, shall we? But back to the Dunphy women. They all look great, and I love them, and I can’t wait for their show to come back.

Allison Janney

Wow. How old is Allison? Hang on, Google says 55. Yeah, I’ll be doing a few extra tricep curls this evening. She looks amazing, and comfortable, and I’m obsessed with the detail and vintage elegance of her gown. Well played, Mom.

Teyonah Parris

I am obsessed with everything about this look. Her hair! The knife pleating on the bust! The full skirt that’s so twirly and must be so much fun in this heat! The polka dots! It’s everything.

Aubrey Plaza

Slay, Aubrey. I love the fit, the slit, and the sleek hair. It’s all working, and she makes it all seem effortlessly elegant.

Cat Deeley

Fun fact, Cat is pregnant. That’s a baby, not Chipotle. I mean, what can I even say about this? Y’all know I drool over anything vintagey and sparkly. And I’m Southern. I love me some big hair.

Worst Dressed

I know, this is the fun part, right? ­čśë

Heidi Klum

Like, what even is this? It looks like she stole four different dresses from an ice dancer and had an early reject from Project Runway cobble them together for her.

Niecy Nash

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this dress, it’s just so matronly. And too long. Maybe if it was strapless and hemmed properly it would be a winner, but as is it looks like she got it off the rack in the mother of the bride section. Come on, Niecy! You’re so much fun, and you’ve got those kick ass curves! You deserve better.

Jaimie Alexander

I just don’t like anything about this. The dress is too hot and covered up, and I just don’t really care for it. And the hair kills me. Is that gel? Is it sweat? Did you wet your hair in an attempt to stay cool?

Anna Chlumsky

I feel like there are a lot of jokes to be made here about what this dress looks like – connect the dots? At any rate, I don’t like it, and I really don’t like how it just randomly ends midway down her legs. I do like the hair, because I’m a big fan of an up-do in the heat.

Joanna Newsom

No but seriously, what is this? Again with the four dresses sewn into one, but this time with a satellite dish added on her chest. Joanna, you didn’t have to do that. They were showing the Cowboys game inside the theater.

And that’s a wrap on this year’s Emmys! I hope you had fun and you didn’t have your favorite show spoiled by that clip segment on series finales.

Friends Emojis – Season 3

28 Aug

It’s time for more Friends emojis! P.S. We’re doing this all the way through Season 10, so I don’t care if you’re all already sick of this.

To refresh your memories, in Season 3 Ross and Rachel were dating (until they were on a break), Monica dated Pete, and Chandler thought he was ready to get serious with Janis.

Same rules as always, assume that they all start with “The One With” or “The One Where”. See if you can guess what they are, and there’s a key at the end. Good luck!

1. TOW the Princess Leia Fantasy
2. TOW No One’s Ready
3. TOW the Jam
4. TOW the Metaphorical Tunnel
5. TOW Frank Jr.
6. TOW the Flashback
7. TOW the Race Car Bed
8. TOW the Giant Poking Device
9. TOW the Football
10. TOW Rachel Quits
11. TOW Chandler Can’t Remember Which Sister
12. TOW All the Jealousy
13. TOW Monica and Richard are Just Friends
14. TOW Phoebe’s Ex-Partner
15. TOW Ross and Rachel Take a Break
16. TOW the Morning After
17. TOW(out) the Ski Trip
18. TOW the Hypnosis Tape
19. TOW the Tiny T-shirt
20. TOW the Dollhouse
21. TOW a Chick and a Duck
22. TOW the Screamer
23. TOW Ross’s Thing
24. TOW the Ultimate Fighting Champion
25. TO at the Beach

So how did I do? Yeah, I know I used honey for jam, but there’s no jam emoji and that was as close as I could get. If you have better ideas I’d love to hear them! I’m always looking to up my emoji game.