Cat Pee and Spilled Sprite

Y’all, I don’t. even. know. Seriously, this week has been insane. So, I’m moving, right? And I’ve been packing, hiring movers, switching utilities, and doing all of that other responsible adult stuff. And I’ve done it all without calling my parents once to screech, “Daddy FIX IT!!”. But that’s not to say that this week has been without incident.

It all started yesterday. I overslept, and was running late for work, so I didn’t stop at 7-11 to get my usual 20 oz Diet Coke with Lime. I get to the office, and immediately get totally overwhelmed with work stuff. Standard.

Then Teddy starts flipping his lid and doing his potty dance. I grabbed my full can of Sprite – remember, I didn’t have time to stop for my Diet Coke with Lime in a bottle with the twist-on cap – and stopped in my boss’s cube to ask her about something before taking Bear for his walk. I set the Sprite can down on her desk, and we chatted while Teddy grew increasingly panic-stricken. He was fine, he just gets super dramatic when he wants to go out. I don’t know where he gets it.

So fine, let’s go Teddy! And Teddy ran for the door, only his leash was wrapped around the can of Sprite, and it fell on the ground, spewing soda everywhere. At this point I was so stressed about so many things that I was about to burst into tears. My boss could sense this, and very graciously sent me outside while she sopped up the soda.

Okay, so we come back inside and I sit down at my desk. Busy, busy day, lots to do. And then the power goes out. Are you freaking kidding me? We’re all convinced that it will be back on in a second, so we took advantage of the down time to organize some things, go through some old paperwork, and go to a meeting in the dark. After about an hour and a half we realize that the power may not be coming back any time soon, so I head out to work from home so I can get some stuff done. The second I’m home I start getting a flood of emails from my boss. Turns out almost as soon as I left the power came back.

I’m convinced it was me. I can’t prove it, and the electric company says it was construction near the office that did it, but I still can’t help but think I had something to do with it all. Because that’s just the kind of week I’m having.

So I managed to get through Thursday, Friday has to be pretty low-key, right? WRONG.

I’m sitting at my desk this morning and I smell it. Dog pee. Great. One of the dogs must have peed in my cube yesterday. So I start sniffing around, but it’s already dry and I can’t figure out where exactly it is. A co-worker came and sniffed around, and we narrowed down the area to one corner, so I just sprayed a bunch of cleaning stuff in that general direction.

But then, as I kept sitting there, I kept smelling pee. What the hell? Finally, I realized where this pee smell was coming from.

Last weekend I stayed at my boss’s house to pet sit. Remember those adorable pictures of her cat spooning my dog? Well I knew that the cat peed on my bra, but I thought that was all he got. When I got home earlier this week, I took the clothes I had packed but not worn and hung them up. Today I was wearing a shirt that had been in that bag.

You see where this is going, yes?

I WAS WEARING CAT PEE.

So that’s dog pee on the floor, and cat pee on my shirt, for those keeping track.

I give up. Sometimes, my life is ridiculous, even by my standards.